My boyfriend/husband and I have sexual relations, but it is considered proper sexual relations in Buddhism. Can I practice Buddhism and enter the path of enlightenment?

Yes, you can absolutely practice Buddhism and enter the path to enlightenment as a lay practitioner engaging in proper sexual relations. In the context of Buddhist teachings, including those of Venerable Master Hsuan Hua, there is a clear distinction between the strict celibacy (brahmacariya) required of the monastic Sangha and the ethical guidelines laid out for lay disciples.

Here is how this dynamic is understood according to orthodox Buddhist principles and the teachings of Master Hsuan Hua:

1. The Lay Path vs. Monastic Path

The Third Precept: For lay Buddhists, the fundamental ethical framework is the Five Precepts. The third precept explicitly states that lay practitioners must refrain from sexual misconduct. "Proper" sexual relations (consensual, faithful relationships between a husband/wife or committed partners) do not break this precept.

Avoidance of Harm:

Master Hsuan Hua frequently emphasized that the core of the lay precepts is to prevent harm to others and maintain a stable, moral society. Mutual fidelity fosters loyalty, selflessness, and mutual care, which are strong foundational virtues for cultivating the Dharma.

2. Progressing Toward Enlightenment

Levels of Enlightenment:

Can you attain enlightenment while having a sex life? In traditional Buddhism, a layperson can still achieve the initial stages of enlightenment (such as becoming a Srotapanna or "Stream-enterer", and up to an Anagami or "Non-returner" at which point sensual desire is naturally extinguished).

The Pure Land Option:

Master Hsuan Hua strongly advocated for the Pure Land Dharma-door. Under this practice, laypersons who maintain the precepts, hold deep faith, and recite the name of Amitabha Buddha can be reborn in the Land of Ultimate Bliss, where they are guaranteed to irreversibly attain supreme enlightenment (Anuttarasamyaksambodhi) regardless of their previous lay lifestyles.

3. Master Hsuan Hua's Perspective on Sexual Desire

While Master Hsuan Hua accepted and encouraged lay disciples to live harmonious household lives, he was famously uncompromising regarding ultimate liberation:

The Ultimate Root: He often pointed out in texts like the Shurangama Sutra that sexual desire (lust) is the fundamental root binding living beings to the cycle of rebirth (Samsara).

Gradual Cultivation: He taught that if your ultimate goal is the highest, absolute Buddhahood (complete, supreme enlightenment), desire must eventually be completely purified and transcended. However, this is a gradual process.

Summary for Your Practice

You do not need to become a celibate monastic overnight to walk the path of the Buddha. By being a loving, faithful partner, keeping the Five Precepts, studying the Sutras, meditating, or practicing mindfulness, you are successfully establishing your footing on the path to enlightenment. As wisdom grows through your practice, your relationship with attachment and desire will naturally mature and transform at its own pace.

The five precepts

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_precepts

Buddhist Beginner's Guide：Q&A

https://www.cttbusa.org/vajrastrikes/q_and_a_contents.asp.html

What is Buddhadharma?

https://www.drbachinese.org/online_reading/dharma_talks/kaishrlu-1/volume1-ce-28.htm